"I am beautiful no matter what they say." -- Christina Agulera
This quote brings to mind a a turning point in my life, a difficult time. They say beauty isn't skin deep, but the health of your mind, body and spirit are definitely interrelated. Basically awhile back I became hyper aware of all the 'beautiful' people, well women, around me. I think we all know that advertising is full of them -- and of course TV and magazines -- but have you really looked, or counted how many you see in a day? Tons. They are everywhere. Not only that, but I also started to compare myself to the strangers around me -- the cute co-ed on the cell phone outside the tanning salon, or the Barbie-Mom dressed to the nines at the playground with little Ricky. Were her boob real? Are they looking at my unpolished toes? I found myself trying to compete and needless to say, I didn't stack up. For quite awhile I wallowed in my self pity, blamed it on just having had a second child, no fashion sense, defective genes. It was a hard time. Looking back, I'm sure pregnancy hormones and post baby blues probably had at little something to do with it, but either way my deep unhappiness was real. Finally it was something that my husband said that got me thinking. I don't remember his words exactly -- I wish I did -- but their gist was that it wasn't really his responsibility to make me happy with me. He could tell me until he was blue in the face that I was beautiful but the words just fell on deaf ears if I was convinced I wasn't. It was the kick in the rear I needed. I've always been basically happy with my inner me, but I definitely wasn't happy with outer me and it was a wound that bled into all the other portions of my life. So not too long after, the New Year rolled around and I declared it "The Year of Me" -- it was my time to focus on making me happy inside and out. Some of it was pampering, some if was making time for activities I enjoy, but alot of it was getting healthy, losing the weight that had slowly crept on. As result, I feel great -- strong and healthy and I am happy with how I look -- I've fixed what I thought was broke and pretty much accepted the rest. To top it all off, I like my inner me even more -- although nothing has really changed there other than the lens through which I view it is not as clouded as before. I still think we are bombarded with too many 'beautiful people' and the goal to be like them, but it doesn't bother me that much any more. I am a little worried though as I can see the wrinkles setting in. Oddly enough, I kinda look forward to be a cute little old blue haired wrinkled grandma -- it's just the journey to get there that might be hard. Hopefully my newly found more grounded view of myself will aid me in that journey.
This quote brings to mind a a turning point in my life, a difficult time. They say beauty isn't skin deep, but the health of your mind, body and spirit are definitely interrelated. Basically awhile back I became hyper aware of all the 'beautiful' people, well women, around me. I think we all know that advertising is full of them -- and of course TV and magazines -- but have you really looked, or counted how many you see in a day? Tons. They are everywhere. Not only that, but I also started to compare myself to the strangers around me -- the cute co-ed on the cell phone outside the tanning salon, or the Barbie-Mom dressed to the nines at the playground with little Ricky. Were her boob real? Are they looking at my unpolished toes? I found myself trying to compete and needless to say, I didn't stack up. For quite awhile I wallowed in my self pity, blamed it on just having had a second child, no fashion sense, defective genes. It was a hard time. Looking back, I'm sure pregnancy hormones and post baby blues probably had at little something to do with it, but either way my deep unhappiness was real. Finally it was something that my husband said that got me thinking. I don't remember his words exactly -- I wish I did -- but their gist was that it wasn't really his responsibility to make me happy with me. He could tell me until he was blue in the face that I was beautiful but the words just fell on deaf ears if I was convinced I wasn't. It was the kick in the rear I needed. I've always been basically happy with my inner me, but I definitely wasn't happy with outer me and it was a wound that bled into all the other portions of my life. So not too long after, the New Year rolled around and I declared it "The Year of Me" -- it was my time to focus on making me happy inside and out. Some of it was pampering, some if was making time for activities I enjoy, but alot of it was getting healthy, losing the weight that had slowly crept on. As result, I feel great -- strong and healthy and I am happy with how I look -- I've fixed what I thought was broke and pretty much accepted the rest. To top it all off, I like my inner me even more -- although nothing has really changed there other than the lens through which I view it is not as clouded as before. I still think we are bombarded with too many 'beautiful people' and the goal to be like them, but it doesn't bother me that much any more. I am a little worried though as I can see the wrinkles setting in. Oddly enough, I kinda look forward to be a cute little old blue haired wrinkled grandma -- it's just the journey to get there that might be hard. Hopefully my newly found more grounded view of myself will aid me in that journey.
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